Three things no one tells you about birth
#1: Labor: Pushing and Epidurals
You may have been taught that reaching 10 centimeters is the ultimate goal of labor and once you get to that point, pushing should begin. But there’s another key step that should also occur before you push in order to make pushing more effective and less tiring - your baby being fully down the birth canal or crowning. Am I saying your cervix can dilate to 10 centimeters before your baby has fully navigated his way down the birth canal? Yes! Pushing when you are 10 centimeters but your baby isn’t fully engaged or crowning can be exhausting and lead to a lengthened second stage of labor (pushing). While this isn’t the situation all laboring women find themselves in, if this occurs for you, your care provider may encourage you to “labor down.” This is the process of naturally allowing your baby to continue dropping as your uterus contracts after being full dilated before pushing begins.
Movement is one of the best ways to help your baby descend and why you you want to learn coping skills that will allow you to labor for a longer period of time before movement is limited with an epidural. Speaking of which…
Epidurals is another element of labor we all know about but may not realize how vastly different women can react to them. Some women absolutely love their epidural and receive immediate relief from pain once it’s administered. Some women only have relief from pain on one side of their body or limited overall relief. Some women have very few reactions to epidurals while others will develop intense itching and/or a fever. I share this not to encourage or discourage you from getting an epidural (there is a time and place for every intervention depending on the situation at hand), but to highlight again the importance of learning the coping skills needed to labor naturally for a longer period of time. This will keep you from putting all of your eggs in the epidural basket and expand the tools you have to labor comfortably. You can learn these coping skills and more things that you may not know about the labor process through my comprehensive childbirth class.
#2: Day 3 Postpartum
Something you’ll want to have on your radar and prepare for is day three of your postpartum journey. For many women, this can be the first difficult day. Whether it’s the accumulation of lack of sleep, marked shifts in your hormones, milk coming in for the first time and helping baby adjust accordingly, there is a lot for your body and mind to process all at once. Insert overwhelm. But the beauty of knowing in advance that day 3-5 postpartum are often challenging is that you can prepare for them.
What can preparing look like practically? Ask in advance for additional help on those days from friends and family, talk with your partner to make them aware of the challenges you might face so they can best support you, take care of your healing body by making rest a priority, schedule a visit with a mom-friend you love and trust to sit with you and listen to you, pre-make nourishing meals to help restore you, etc. Sometimes even just reminding yourself that these days are often difficult for most postpartum women can help you extend grace to yourself that much more quickly.
For some women these few difficult days can manifest into postpartum depression and the moment you or your partner feels that shift, reach out for help. If you don’t know where to begin, contact your doula, midwife or care provider and they will be able to put you in contact with resources in your area.
#3: Postpartum Symptoms
Just because something is common does not mean it’s normal.
Postpartum complications are not something that every woman will face, but too often those that do deal with their symptoms longer than they should before they seek support. We think “this will get better soon” and before we know it, six months have passed with no change. Or we know a friend who dealt with something similar and figure this is just part of postpartum life that we can’t change. But just because something is common does not mean it’s normal.
Here’s a list of common symptoms that can be talked about as if they are normal, but they should be things that lead you to reach out to your care provider:
- Urinary or stress incontinence (leaking urine when jumping, running, etc.)
- Pain with intercourse
- Pain when sitting or urinating (could be caused by granulation tissue)
- Heaviness or pressure in your pelvic floor
Taking action to address these symptoms sooner rather than later will only benefit your recovery process. I’m a big fan of pelvic floor physical therapy, which anyone suffering from the above symptoms could be helped by. Consider finding a good pelvic floor therapist in your area while you’re still pregnant so you can get the support you need, should you need it postpartum, more quickly.